When I first opened Practice Yoga, I had every intention of writing a monthly newsletter. Then, as fate would have it, my first letter was to announce to the community that my daughter, Annaleigh had been diagnosed with bone cancer. Subsequent letters were updates on her status, and after she passed, the grief was so dark and heavy I could not see the computer screen through my tears.
So here I am, 5 years and 10 months later, finally able to let the words flow. They will be messy and raw; I have outgrown trying to be polished. Polished feels inauthentic.
If you've been in a power yoga class with me on my mat, you know I get hot and sweaty and am known for what Julia has coined the Grilo Groan. I am a loud, messy yogi fully expressed in all of my humanness.
The messiness (and ironically freedom) comes from the most primal pain I've known: the death of my daughter. It created an ache in my pelvic floor that birthed her; my cheekbones have felt the embodied anguish of the 19th-century painting The Scream by Edvard Munch, and it unlocked my throat, allowing guttural sounds and sighs to escape like steam from a pressure cooker ready to explode. Fortunately, my yoga mat has been where I was able to unravel and then weave the tapestry of my life back together.
I am filled with gratitude for the practice of yoga. I took my first class at age 16 with no idea it would become the foundation for who I am. Yoga has given me the tools to meet life as life has shown up: to be present, breathe, set my gaze on what matters, stay in the uncomfortable, and flow when I feel stuck. It has also given me community, connection, friendship, purpose, and joy. All of these things have carried me through the darkest days of my life.
June 21st is International Yoga Day, a day dedicated to the celebration of yoga. We are hosting our Summer Yoga Bash on Saturday, June 20th, in honor of International Yoga Day and to kick off our summer challenge. We invite all of you to join the challenge and reap the inevitable benefits that come from a committed yoga practice and being part of our amazing community.
Can't wait to see you on your mat — I'll be the sweaty one groaning in the front row.
- Debi